OKlaw4families

• Cases involving disputes in child custody.
  
• If you believe your spouse is a danger to you or your children.
  
• You are not able to get the necessary support for you and your children to live.
  
• You believe your case would end up in the courtroom because of high conflict. Do not go in front of a judge to represent yourself at a trial!
  
• You believe your spouse is transferring joint assets out of your name or hiding assets.
  
• Your spouse has retained an attorney.

• Do you have the time and resources necessary to do it yourself? Don't be fooled into thinking you simply fill out a few forms, and you're divorced. Doing it yourself is going to be time consuming. In fact, it will probably become an all-consuming part of your life.
  
• Are you able to take time off from work? Unfortunately, much of the things that will need to be done within the court system are during regular business hours. Do you have the time to research your state laws regarding divorce? Research is time consuming and laws are often hard to understand or ambiguous. Do you have the ability to comprehend exactly what the different laws mean? Do you have access to the needed information? Remember that any settlement will have to fall within the law.
  
• Can you overcome the emotional upset and conflict? By nature, divorce is emotional. Anger, guilt, and blaming are common emotional issues you will have to deal with. If there were no conflict between you and your spouse you likely wouldn't be getting divorced. With that in mind, can both you and your spouse put those issues aside and negotiate a fair settlement?
  
• Are you on equal ground with your spouse? Even if one person perceives themselves as at a disadvantaged there will be problems. Can you work together to get to equal ground before going forward? If one person feels to be at a disadvantage this will not work.

• Divide your property as well as your debts.
  
• Decide parenting issues such as custody, visitation, and child support.
  
• Determine if alimony applies and the amount be paid.

• Lawyer: to review your agreement to ensure it is in the proper form and falls within the word of the law.
  
• Mediator: if you and your spouse have come to an issue that you cannot agree upon this doesn't mean you have to give up doing it yourself. A mediator will help you focus on the particular issue at hand and work through it.
  
• Counselor: such as psychologist or social worker. If you and your spouse are having a problem, overcoming the emotional part of the divorce you may want to consider counseling either together or separately.
  
• Paralegal: you can use a paralegal to help fill out forms and type your agreement. BEWARE, paralegals are NOT lawyers. You may be tempted to use one like a lawyer, but don't. They are not licensed, so there are no standards to qualify as a paralegal. Anyone can call himself or herself a paralegal.
  
• Accountant: There will be tax considerations when dividing your assets and debts. It may be cost effective to pay an accountant for a consultation in order to save on taxes. Why make Uncle Sam happy due to your lack of knowledge about tax law.  
  
• The Tulsa County Bar Association provides the Lawyer Referral Service - an easy way to get a ½ hour legal consultation for only $25.00!
  
• Legal Services of Eastern Oklahoma provides free legal help for low income persons and senior citizens with civil legal problems in the 29 counties of eastern Oklahoma.  Eligibility for free legal services is determined on a case by case basis using guidelines on income, resources, and the type of case.

Your interests can always be better represented by an attorney. You already know that.

But are there times when self-representation is, well, "good enough"?

The following are some very general guidelines about the safest situations in which to represent yourself and the riskiest situations for self-representation. Needless to say, these general guidelines may not apply in your particular case.

Safest Self-Representation Cases:

• a marriage in which both partners worked throughout the marriage, earn comparable salaries, have no minor children together and have accumulated no property together to speak of, especially if the marriage is very brief to relatively brief
  
• a marriage in which neither partner worked steadily or earns much money, they have no minor children together and they have accumulated no property to speak of, especially if the marriage is very brief to relatively brief
  
• a very brief to relatively brief marriage in which the partners have no minor children together and have accumulated no property to speak of
  
• a marriage in which both partners worked throughout the marriage and earn comparable salaries, have accumulated no property together to speak of and where both partners are excellent, involved parents to their minor children together and each parent wants the other parent to stay very involved in the life of their child(ren)
  
• a marriage in which neither partner works steadily or earns much money, they have accumulated no property to speak of and both partners are excellent, involved parents to their minor children together and each parent wants the other parent to stay very involved in the life of their child(ren)
  
• any marriage in which the partners have no children together and they are aware of and able to agree on how to divide all property and all support issues and, probably, their agreement is not patently unfair
  
• any marriage in which the partners are aware of and able to agree on how to divide all property and all support issues, their agreement provides adequately for the care of the children and reasonable visitation with the non-custodial parent and, probably, their agreement is not patently unfair in regard to financial matters
  

Riskiest Self-Representation Cases
    (or Do Yourself a Big Favor and Figure Out A Way to Retain a Lawyer):

• either partner has a criminal record
  
• either partner is accused of domestic violence, including child abuse
  
• either partner is accused of sexual abuse
  
• either partner is accused of non-physical abuse (verbal, emotional, psychological, psychic, etc.)
  
• either partner is neglectful and/or irresponsible
  
• either partner suffers from inadequately treated mental illness
  
• either partner has a physical disability or other significant health issue
  
• either partner is not mentally competent (example, Alzheimer's disease)
  
• either partner abuses alcohol or any other substance
  
• either partner is accused of abandonment
  
• either partner is accused of poor parenting skills or judgment
  
• either partner or caretaker of children is accused of illegal immigrant status
  
• either partner is overextended financially and on the verge of bankruptcy
  
• either partner owns a privately held business
  
• either partner has a history of defaulting in financial obligations such as court-ordered support of other children or previous spouse
  
• either partner is believed to be hiding assets
  
• either partner is believed to work for cash payments
  
• either partner has a history of willful refusal to work for a living
  
• either partner has threatened to run off with the children
  
• either partner has tried to limit or interfere with visitation of the children
  
• either partner has badmouthed the other to the children
  
• either partner has stated that the other is able to support the children without assistance
  
• either partner has warned that he or she will not provide any financial support where the other partner may be entitled to it
  
• either partner is just plain disagreeable for the sake of it
  
• the other partner's lawyer is just plain disagreeable for the sake of it
  
• the other partner's lawyer is consistently extremely aggressive, contentious and intimidating
  
• the case has already started and the judge has strongly encouraged you to hire a lawyer or
  
• the case has already started and the judge really doesn't seem to be seeing things your way at all.